Hi guys! I hope your week has been fantastic! Today I’m going to be giving you a life update. I love reading these types of posts because I love to keep up with what my favorite bloggers are doing! I have so much to share with you guys and I feel like this is a very safe place. I want to be 100% transparent with you guys because I want to build trust with you! So let’s jump in!
As many of you know from my Instagram, my beautiful niece is finally here! Her name is Parker Rheese Jackson and I am so in love with her. Like I’m obsessed…and she’s not even mine. She was born December 28th (a Christmastime baby) and we all have been enamored with her since that day. It’s weird to think of my sister as a mom. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I always knew my sister would be a fantastic mom just because she was always with kids and loved kids a lot. I mean she’s a teacher for goodness sake! I can’t wait until the next time I get to go down to see her…and of course the rest of my fam 😉 I melted seeing Futrel so gentle with her and when Joey held her, oh my goodness. There’s just something about a man and a baby that gets me. Everyone is happy and healthy and I am just filled with so much love. That child is living her best life.
I am so excited to tell you about our trip that we’re planning to Aruba. We are going on a “big honeymoon”/anniversary trip. We never took an actual honeymoon to somewhere tropical so we’re finally doing it and it’ll be like a 1 year anniversary trip as well. We’re going the week of our 1 year anniversary and I think it’s just so special! I kind of like how we waited a year to take our honeymoon because it’s also a great way to celebrate our first year of marriage. I’ve heard Aruba is gorgeous and the resort we’re staying at looks amazing! I’ve been reading all about the island and finding out what we can do there! Stay tuned for lots of insta posts. I’ve never flown anywhere with Joey so I’m very excited to be able to travel with him!
Recently, I’ve been super into yoga. I started getting into it right after Thanksgiving. I’ve always liked it but never really committed to it. I got a really nice yoga mat for Christmas and I do it just about every day. I like that you can do it anywhere without any equipment! I think it has helped with my anxiety so much and it’s just a great way for me to unwind or to start my day. I think a lot of people don’t see yoga as a legitimate form of exercise and I think it’s because they’ve never done it! Yoga is so much more than just stretching. I have started to see results just from doing yoga almost every day. I’m so much more flexible and I’m toning up in places I’ve never been toned before! It’s definitely my primary form of exercise because it gets my heart rate up and it tones the whole body. What more could you want? If you’re looking to start something new this year, I recommend yoga 100%.
The last thing I want to talk to you guys about is suuuuuper personal. I went back and forth about whether I wanted to tell you guys or not but in the spirit of being 100% transparent, I think I need to. I have struggled with body image issues for so long. I always thought it was just normal because everybody has something about their body that they don’t like. Since the spring of last year, I have developed an eating disorder. I remember going to the doctor last spring and seeing I had gained 3 pounds. Now, you’re probably like are you serious? 3 pounds is nothing. But for me, that was catastrophic. I have always been lean. I love eating healthy and I do 95% of the time and I was just so confused. I remember going to work and not eating anything after breakfast (which was very small) until I would binge at dinner. Then I realized that wasn’t working out for me. It was just making me miserable so I started eating more but restricting my calories soooo much. I would eat just enough that I wouldn’t feel lightheaded and could make it through. I was so tired and my thoughts were consumed with how many calories I had eaten or how many I had left for the day. It was all I thought about. I would track everything I ate and set a calorie goal, which was below my Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR). The Basal Metabolic Rate is basically how many calories your body needs to survive and function properly at rest. So I wasn’t even meeting my needs. I would beat myself up if I even came close to the calorie goal even though it was way fewer calories than what would be needed to gain weight. I would be terrified to eat out and I would order the meal that had the least amount of calories even if it wasn’t what I really wanted. I would beat myself for not working out everyday too. I didn’t have any energy so it was a huge struggle to go to the gym or even do a home workout. By my wedding, I had lost 5 pounds but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be thinner. I kept going and going until I reached a breaking point. I remember telling my husband one night that I thought I had an eating disorder and feeling so ashamed because I never thought that would happen to me. I could barely bring myself to tell him. I was engrossed in what I was putting in my body and how I looked. I didn’t want to be judged for gaining weight and I was terrified of gaining any weight back. I kept telling myself it was normal because everyone feels badly about themselves at one point or another right? I still struggle with all of this. I go through times (which are few and far between) when I feel great and I allow myself to just enjoy myself and there are phases when I slip back into my old habits of obsessive calorie counting and overdoing exercise. My anxiety definitely doesn’t make things easier. I’m still on the mend. I think I’ll always be recovering. I just know prayer is powerful and God always helps me through everything, every time. Joey has been a great support. He tells me I’m beautiful what feels like millions of times per day and always encourages me. I’m so glad to have the support system that I do.
I’m sorry to have ended this life update so seriously but I wanted to finally tell you guys what was happening in my life. It feels good to get it out in the open. I’m so blessed to have a space where I can talk about my struggles. If you guys have any prayer requests, I’d love to be praying for you. Email me or message me on any of my social media and I’d love to add you to my prayer request list ❤ Have a great day guys!